“There’s always some reason…

to feel not good enough…

and it’s hard at the end of the day.”

—Sarah McLachlan “Angel”

Sally Field is a brilliant actress. Her early career breakthroughs were in comedies like The Flying Nun, a delightful and entertaining television show. At that time, however, the elite film actors of Hollywood looked down on television (this was before award-winning cable films and series like The Sopranos, etc.), and because she’d been doing comedy, she had trouble landing dramatic roles.

Sally continued to study acting and to act. When dramatic film roles finally came along, she took them. Her work soon became too glorious to ignore and she was awarded not one but two Best Actress Academy Awards. Yet, when she accepted her SECOND award, she uttered the now famous lines that betrayed her obvious struggle with self-esteem “…I’ve wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn’t feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!”

I’m a woman, so I can’t speak to the issue of male self-esteem, but I have to say that many of the women I’ve met in my life (even accomplished “can do!” women) have struggles with self-esteem. To put it in the words of Sarah McLachlan’s beautiful song “Angel”: “There’s always some reason to feel not good enough, and it’s hard at the end of the day…”

Yes, I feel that way too. Ten people might say positive things about me, but I’ll believe, even dwell on, the one negative thing instead. That’s the context in which I’d like to put today’s post. In the grand sweep of our lives, making a monthly bestseller list is no big deal. But to an author like me, who routinely and quietly puts herself down, making the IMBA list (posted below) is a postive so big and muscular that, for a little while anyway, it flattens those nasty little “you’re not worthy” negatives. It lets me channel Sally Field and think, “You like me, right now, you like me!” And, dang, for this moment anyway, it feels…like FLYING!

And now without further ado…I am psyched to the max to post the Independent Mystery Booksellers Association paperback bestsellers list for the month of August 2006, and I wish every author on it heartfelt congratulations!