I wrote this entry earlier this month–as a guest on another blog.  I had a lot of fun with the subject, and people told me it made them snort their morning coffee.   

Enjoy.

Back in the early 20th century, Sigmund Freud asked his famous question, “What do women want?”

Over a hundred years later, it appears that guys are still trying to figure that out.

Witness this piece of–uh–spam that popped into my mailbox a couple of weeks ago.

“Did you know that a recent survey showed that 85% of women actually get aroused by a man who produces ‘above average’ semen amounts? With our pills, she’ll be speechless… and definitely coming back for more…”

Yeah, she’ll be speechless, all right.

I keep trying to wrap my head around this scenario. How does it work? A guy who wants to turn on his new girlfriend invites her into a bedroom and masturbates so she can see how much wallpaper paste he can produce?

Or does he just do it to her, then lie back and revel in her delight as he floods her out of bed?

Okay, I realize I’m getting a little gross here. And I also realize this ad is playing to a male fantasy. It’s easy to satisfy your sweetie. Forget about dinner, dancing, and foreplay. Flowers, candy, and champagne?

Nah. You’ve got everything you need right in your magic wand.

“I come buckets; therefore I am a Greek god.”

Any man who bothered to sit down and read a romance novel would find out very quickly that semen is pretty far down the list of what turns a woman on. Really, how many love scenes have you read where the guy erupts like Mt. Vesuvius? Or love scenes that get around to cleaning up after sex? Or even disposing of used condoms? Not many.

Those aren’t our fantasies. We’re looking for a man who focuses his attention on his woman. Who charms her with his witty dialogue, then slowly and skillfully uses his hands and mouth to bring her to a tingling level of arousal before he . . . .

Well, you get the idea.

I enjoy writing love scenes where a man and a woman give each other pleasure. And when I’m in the middle of one, I’m as focused on the emotions of my hero and heroine as I am on the physical descriptions. The emotions of these two people and the building arousal reinforce each other to give the scene a depth that most male writers can’t achieve.

There are a few who can do it, though. One guy who “gets it” is Ken Follett. In fact, he was actually one of my role models. When I read THE KEY TO REBECCA, my reaction was, “THAT’S what I want to write–two people falling in love against a background of suspense and danger.”

The hero and heroine may start off lusting after each other. They may jump into bed for the fun of it. But they end up committed to each other–body, mind, and soul.

I know my plot is going to drag my hero and heroine to hell and back. But I also know I’m going to reward them with a long, happy life together. And a fantastic sexual relationship is always part of the package.

To bring us around to the paranormal, that’s one of the reasons I got into werewolves. I love writing about the men in the Marshall family–my strong, sexy alpha male shape-shifters.

They enjoy sex on a very basic, very animal level. But when each of them finds his lifemate, the sex between them is mind-blowing–and a strong part of the bond they forge.

Sex is always integral to my stories. But sex in the context of a relationship where each partner takes pleasure in pleasing the other.

That’s what I’d like guys to take away from my books.

So how do we get them to read our novels? And without blushing? I find they’re often embarrassed by the love scenes. Which is a shame. Because if they read our favorite books, it would give them some basic information about what we like in bed.

Would they “get it” if they broke down and read a romance novel? Or is your average guy too “testosterized” to buy into our fantasies?