I’m thinking about confidence the past few days, and what makes me confident as a woman.

Success?  Most definitely, I am extremely confident of myself as a writer.  Clothing?  Yes, the style and color of clothes affects the way I feel.  Hair?  A bad hair day can ruin my day.  Makeup?  Love it and am a junkie—I honestly feel more comfortable going out when I have my makeup on. 

But most of all, the way I feel in my body affects how I display my confidence.  I really like who I am, for the most part, I’m smarter than is probably good for me, I’m pretty damned talented, I’m diplomatic when I need to be (or choose to be), I can be a bitch when it’s called for, and I’m opinionated as hell (a plus or minus, depending on who you ask).  I’m a natural born leader and enjoy taking on that role.

However…I want to shore up my confidence in myself on a physical level. Not because of my weight, at least not as a main factor. I’ve always been a large woman (widthwise) and can live with that to a point.  But the truth is that over the past few years I’ve overworked myself to the point where my back is in constant chronic pain, which affects my whole body.  Muscle spasms aren’t that sexy.

And I just get to feeling great on my allergy diet, (I have multiple food allergies & sensitivities) when I go and sabotage myself (IOW: I get bored with the limitations and slide off because I forget just how rotten I end up feeling when I don’t eat right).  This doesn’t mean I binge, or eat things that are *really* bad for me.  Just bad enough to make me feel a bit crummy again.

So now, with the shift in focusing my career over to where I’m just writing the Sisters of the Moon Series, and starting to work on standalones—which means stepping down the workload just a little—I’m going to take some of that extra time and putting it to good use on my body.

I’ve been back on the strictest form of my allergy diet almost two weeks and am starting to feel better—haven’t been on the 10-15 Tums a day that is average when I’m not eating right. My asthma’s better under control again too (except for the pollen, and there isn’t much I can do to stem that mess). I have a limited diet of foods that don’t cause me serious problems, which excludes most grains (and that covers a *wide* variety of products).

I’m just now getting back into my exercise routine, and am determined this time I won’t screw up. My health is just too important to me, and my confidence in myself as a woman stems directly out of how good I feel. When I feel good, I look better.

I’ve decided that, in order to boost my confidence in myself, I’m setting my body-work goals. One of them is to feel good enough by my June signings that I can wear my heels—at least some of them—again without back pain. Which means a lot of work over the next two months. Another, is to lose another 4 dress sizes by the end of the year (I’ve lost four already over the past couple years).   Wish me the self-discipline to get there.  If I could only harness the discipline I use in my writing and apply it to my body, I’d be strong as an ox.

So, what makes you feel confident in yourself as either woman or man?  A certain dress?  A good day at the gym?  Your strength of character?  Tell me.

Yasmine

As you may—or may not—know, my Sisters of the Moon Series*** is picking up steam.  Urban fantasy starring three sisters–Camille, Delilah, and Menolly–each book is narrated from the viewpoint of a different sister.  WITCHLING was the first book, and CHANGELING is due out in June.  (By the way: just to set the record straight, I’ve never seen an episode of Charmed *grins*…my concept for the three sisters comes from the mythological aspects of the Triple Goddess, the Norns, and the Fates).

Anyway, I’ve been running a contest on my personal blog and on my MySpace blog (they’re both open till March 31st, by the way, if you want to enter) for copies of the ARCS of CHANGELING.  As part of the contest, I’m asking people to list their favorite characters—and tell me why.  So far, beyond the sisters, Smoky the dragon and Morio the fox demon are miles ahead.  No question about it, women love those men!

So I’ve been thinking about how so many women are taking to Smoky and Morio.  And I’ve been asking myself, why do I love my heroes so much, and why do my sisters love them?  I mean, we aren’t talking HEA romances here—we’re talking bizarre urban fantasy with a dark, humorous undertone.  Lots of action, some explicit sex, relationships galore, subplots everywhere, and mythology from all over the world all mixed into one big cauldron.  So the heroes are all a bit off—not your run-of-the-mill good guys, that’s for sure.  Camille, Menolly, and Delilah are hard put to keep up with this crew.

When I examine my male characters, I see they all possess aspects of the qualities I tend to find attractive in men—and a few not. 

Smoky, a gorgeous white dragon, morphs into a tall, sexy, reserved man.  He’s the man in white, with silver hair down to his calves.  Arrogant, he’s embodies a sense of timeless regality.  Smoky’s got his own agenda for everything he does.  He’s not magnanimous.  He’s wickedly playful, he enjoys sitting back and pushing buttons to control the show.  And yet, right below the surface is a menacing sense that yes, he *is* a dragon and therefore, if you aren’t careful, he might just fry you to a crisp and eat you up.  Dragons and other beasties do not play by human rules in my worlds.

Trillian, a Svartan—a race of rather menacing beings long ago related to the elves—is hedonistic.  Sensual to the core, he’s the magic man who can charm you with a kiss, the pied piper of the bedroom.  He, like Smoky, is a mercenary, and yet he’s there to help when Camille and her sisters any time they need him, even if he complains in the process.  Camille and Trillian have an odd relationship—sexually open, and yet, they are completely bound to one another through sex magic.  Trillian can be your best ally, or worst enemy.

Morio, a fox demon based on Japanese lore, is the unreadable rogue.  He always has a secret smile back there, like he knows something you don’t.  He’s loyal to the core, and yet, unpredictable.  Brilliant, his passion comes through like a quiet flame that can roar to life when he’s in his full demon form.

And then there’s Chase—the human of the group.  Chase is a ladies’ man, or so he likes to think, but let him meet the right woman and he falls hard.  He’s the protector, the sardonic lawman, the cautionary thinker of the group.  He knows he’s in over his head with the sisters and their cohorts, so he gives way when it’s necessary, but he’s always willing to be first into battle and he’ll die for his friends if need be.

And with CHANGELING (and DARKLING), you’ll meet new men—Zachary Lyonnesse, Venus the Moonchild, and others.

So what do my male characters say about me and the way I look at men?  I suppose I find power attractive in a man—that reserved brilliance that challenges you to go ahead, try to best him.  I like men who find intelligence appealing, men who like a woman who thinks for herself.  I can’t stand arrogance without substance behind it and I don’t like ‘who’s your daddy’ games.
 
When I look at my own husband, I see that he’s got a number of these qualities (all the better for me!) that I give to my heroes.  The sensuality of Trillian, the desire to protect that Chase embodies.  Samwise is smart and quiet, like Morio.  And like Smoky, he’s playful. And, he’s got long hair—another plus in my book.  ~grins~

So tell me, what are your favorite qualities in heroes?  What do you like in men that you read about or watch on TV, or invite into your boudoir?

Until next time,
Yasmine

***Note: Berkley may have dubbed my Sisters of the Moon Series as the Otherworld Series.  I’ve suggested not doing that, primarily because I don’t want people mixing up my Otherworld with Kelly Armstrong’s Otherworld Series, because they’re two vastly different places, though I love her world, but I’m not sure what their final decision is.

5.  I haven’t had my caffeine yet.  Seriously, if I don’t get my iced, triple shot, rice milk (or soy sometimes, it depends on whether I’m out at Starbucks or making it at home), peppermint (not spearmint, not regular old mint, but peppermint), no-whip (hey, with rice and soy milk that should be obvious but you’d be surprised how many baristas ask me), mocha, I’m not fit for conversation.  I’m a caffeine junkie.  I used to be a sugar junkie until my husband got me hooked on caffeine (I BLAME YOU, SAMWISE GALENORN!) and then, well, let’s just say I drool on cue every time we pass a Starbucks.  Yes, I like Starbucks.  I love Starbucks.  Deal with it. ~grins~  (And if I’m like this before my caffeine, just imagine what I’m like to be around after it!).

4.  Tara, my drooly office kitty (a torbie who’s 19 years old, we figure she can drool when she likes), is trying to sit in my lap.  It’s hard to type with an 8 pound ball of fuzz on your keyboard.  At least it’s not Meerclar, one of our other three, who’s 14 pounds of squirmy love.  What’s that?  You want to know the name of our two other cats?  Sure!  I love talking about them.  There’s Luna, our tortoiseshell who’ll be 14 years old on April sixth (Meerclar’s a black cat and she’ll be 14 in June, BTW), and Pakhit—best known as Keeter—a long haired classical brown tabby who will be 17 in May.

3.  I spent all yesterday working.  I made this tremendously cool trailer for my upcoming June release CHANGELING.  I think I’ll re-do it next weekend—slow it down just a bit, but it’s way kewl.  Really.  Seriously.  If you want to watch it, you can find it: HERE.  (That’s right, click on the word HERE and it will take you THERE.  To the trailer.  Honest.).  Anyway, since I spent all day yesterday working on book stuff, I didn’t have time to plan this entry out in advance.

2.   I figured that you’d prefer this list to a recipe.  I was going to give you my recipe for roasted red potatoes but that seemed boring, even though they aren’t.  (Okay, okay, here it is:  wash and cut into bite sized pieces—but don’t peel—two pounds of red potatoes.  Pat dry and put into bowl.  Pour 1/4 cup olive oil over the potatoes and stir to coat.  Sprinkle with: 2 tbsp each dried parsley and sweet paprika, 1 tbsp each dried: onion powder—not salt but the powder, thyme, dill, and 1 tsp kosher salt.  Stir well to mix herbs.  Spread the potatoes in 13 X 9 inch casserole baking dish and make sure to get last drops of oil and herbs with spatula over the top.  Cover with aluminum foil, poking a few small holes for steam to escape in top.  Bake for 60-70 minutes at 350 degrees.  WONDERFUL…yummy!).

1.  My book DARKLING is due at the end of the month.  I’m in deadline hell.  My mind is pretty much wrapped up in a battle between Menolly (my vampire sister in the series), her sisters and their friends, and a group of rogue vampires and dryads out to make Menolly’s life hell.  Okay?  Blogging about that would take the energy out of the book and put it into the blog.  And besides, you’d rather read it in the book, wouldn’t you? ~grins~

Okay, there we go.  My top five reasons this blog is about nothing today.  More or less.  And now I’ve finished my caffeine and am MUCH happier!  Happy Monday and go off and do good stuff for people.  Okay?

~Yazza~